Lost myself.
Writing is good therapy. That’s pretty much why I started this blog. I use to vent on Facebook a lot, but more often than not I need to say what I want to say without the feedback. I know how to get where I want to go but I often get sidetracked. That’s where I am now. I feel off course even though I know in the grand scheme of things, that I am going exactly where my “higher self” wants to go. I want love in my life, but I can never seem to hold on to it. The problem isn’t why. I know exactly why. I tend to put all of my love in another person without putting love into myself, so eventually I feel completely unloved even though I truly am. I get it. I totally get it. So here I am, trying to put all this love back into myself, so that I can get back to feeling loved whether I have someone to care for or not. It’s been difficult. All I think about is her. I can’t live her life though, and I do not want to live anyone else’s life but mine. I want MY life to be fulfilled, and I want to recapture the spark that I felt within myself a year ago when I first learned to love my soul. I’m trying to retrace my steps so I can get back to being that ultimate me. I know that this was not just a one time feeling. I have to get it back. I want balance. I want to be in love with myself and have the people and things in my life that mean the most to me. The latter doesn’t shine as much without the former though. True love for myself is the only reason to keep living.
